he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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