I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
