Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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