you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Jerry, you need to find god
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
