I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
