I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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