Just fell off a train. Bad.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
