There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
