Don't you send me to vm
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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