You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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