Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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