My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it glows. i had to have it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
