If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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