Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
