Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
