talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
