Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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