how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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