I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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