Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
