someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
