Sponge bath it is.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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