We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
