I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
