before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
