you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
