i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm always down for nudity.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
