Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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