so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
we're so committed to being not committed
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
