well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am available for nakedness
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
