i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
