The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
