are you still at the devil's house?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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