So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
