I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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