is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
