he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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