I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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