Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
