Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
