you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
