when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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