her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
