Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
