she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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