please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
