If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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