Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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