Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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