Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
